The Continuing Saga of My Relationship with My Computer

Last night, I left my computer in the living room in the cubby hole space I have to do my practice in – I need it there to play music. I didn’t leave it there on purpose – I just left it there.

After my practice, I sat at my desk for about an hour without my computer in front of me. I had a feeling I had not felt in a long long time at my desk – breath, air, space. There was a feeling of such relaxed contentment that I could actually think! My thoughts were my own. I felt creative!

I was not deterred or distracted from just staring out the window or looking down at the empty page in my book. I was really there observing. Not partaking in anything that constantly needed my attention because there was nothing to do but to be in my space. It felt good – really good.

I think I’m going to do that every day for an hour – take my computer off my desk and sit there with my own thoughts. ahhhhhh.

When the World Turns Fearful…We Lose…

I feel so sorry for all of us. In light of the US mid-terms, I can only surmise as to what is happening in the psyche of the North American privileged western resident, and I feel so sorry for all of us.

The Legacy of the American Dream

I’ll go back to watching funny baby and kid vids on my FB feed and forget that I live in a place that has so many privileged individuals that are so blind and protective of what they think is their legacy that they can’t see the fraud – they can’t see that what they (the elite) have can’t ever be theirs – EVER.

But here we go – hoping and wishing and working so hard that our fingers bleed – as most people in the world do just to get a piece of that pie. Difference is – that we in the western (North American) world believe, however erroneously, that that pie – at least a piece – can be ours. Ha! It is not yours and can never be yours. And please don’t tell me that I don’t try hard enough or have vision enough or believe in the “Secret” enough. The system is not programmed for you or for me – stop fooling yourselves.

And why would you ever want to be a part of it anyway. Horrible greedy individuals who would stab you in the back first chance they got – yeah I guess if you didn’t get to them first. Is that a way to live!? NO.

It’s All A Game

I feel sorry that we have to play this game at every turn – human rights, consumer rights, student rights, women’s rights, children’s rights, elderly rights, right to die, right to live, right to health care. We fight and fight and fail because fear is stronger, more resilient than any petition to save a whale or a prisoner’s life. I can’t watch any more.

It’s All Distraction

So as I sit here watching that sweet lovely little kid who’s parents dressed him up in a costume too big for him for Halloween – as I watch him fall over and with incredible compassion and absolute singularity ensure his parents “I’m OK. I’m OK.” I smile and say, in our own way we are all OK, yes but – the world in all it’s complexity needs us to know that not all is OK.

I wish that it was as simple as a funny vid on FB – and sometimes it’s as simple as that. But when the powers that be around us are reacting and determining the structure of our lives out of fear and not JOY then we must be vigilant.

Fear Not and Open Your Heart

We have to act in spite of our fears not in servitude of them. Open your hearts to the world around you and see that there’s a lot of fight left – we have a lot to achieve – there are a lot of people suffering because of the attitudes of a few.

Living in fear of the unknown diminishes the rights of the many and makes an island of those who live in fear. Fear makes you powerful – because you will do anything to protect and that means violence. Resolve to be bigger than that. Resolve to champion those who are less fortunate. Yes – this does mean that I believe that the results of the mid-terms is a response from the elitist ideals of (North) America. Them against us. Resolve to include and not exclude. Give your life for the ideals of brother/sisterhood, ecology and love. Believe that life is more than your bank account and the protection of which you would sanction the marginalization of anyone on this earth for your own protection (without cause).

Like Warriors

I have watched and listened and wept at the discrepancies between what some in positions of power say and what they do. I have marveled at their tenacity and blatant disregard for the livelihood of those within their own borders let alone outside of them and I see greed and protectionism.

Yes – this is a response to an increasing disposition toward conservatism that strangles the creative impulse of the heart that seeks new ways to combat socio-pathic tendencies to control a nation by a select few (see Iceland). We need voices who crawl out of the burrows of stagnant pastures to give voice to those who would contribute greatness but have no standing. Give voice to those who would stand up against fear-mongering.

I feel sorry for all of us. These are dark times. Yes. I will look it straight in the eye and yell – Let’s do this! Bring it on! …

Meryl Streep and Her Patience…

Patience is a head thing. Plain and simple. I feel what she is saying – I’d like to agree with her but it seems severe.

I do wonder if she has any patience for herself? Usually when we have such strong feelings for others then that is a feeling we have for ourselves – I wonder if she knows that.

What I’d like to suggest is to make an effort to set boundaries early in life and continuously. Boundaries that will compromise getting a job but not your self-respect. Boundaries that will fortify your convictions but not your heart. Open your heart and love those deeply who don’t know how to respect others but resolve not to be a fool for them. As Ramana Maharshi would tell you, this is all a dance of the mind. Enter each day with a Big Heart and you will not have to guard yourself – love is your way through.

http://ioadicaeu.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/i-no-longer-have-patience/

Madness.

crazy

This photo from this site: http://stottilien.com/tag/shadow/ (a great read btw)

 

Madness – “Crazy” and Depression are two different things. Madness or Crazy were thought to be a gift bestowed upon individuals in Aboriginal societies. You have to be sort of mad to see god or the workings of the universe. Gurus (saddhus) are mad with the knowledge of god and their culture supports and even reveres them. Most of the Saints would have been thought mad by our standards. Madness or crazy that Robin Williams was talking about I can only IMAGINE what he meant -is the crazy that is the true Creative Spirit. The spirit that makes you act in spite of criticism, in spite of rules like gravity. I don’t mean rules like laws – I mean rules like you can’t fly. The crazy that comes from seeing the truth about life. The madness is the creative spark that it takes to turn this knowing of the true workings of god or the universe, this intuitive vision into art – funny, sad, poignant, inspirational, dirty, truthful art. Depression comes from the pressure of being constantly asked, chided, cajoled, ridiculed, forced to conform to the systems of the material world – the bigotry, the separateness, the fear. It goes directly against the truth that is real and tangible only to the artist. Depression is the weight of keeping your head in this world and your heart in the creative energies of the universe. Depression is the weight of knowing you can really fly but you are tethered to this reality. Depression comes from knowing that if you don’t conform you will be isolated by and from our society (madhouses and asylums, psych-ward). There is no support or acceptance of those who fly outside the Norm. FLY in the face of it. And let those who don’t get it try to figure it out later.

 

This is in response to this comment about #RobinWilliams standup piece about keeping a little madness. He was full of the Creative Spirit. You can see it, hear it… beautiful Robin.

http://www.upworthy.com/robin-williams-advice-for-people-who-are-depressed-is-really-touching-and-important?c=reccon1

Wisdom

Old Woman

Photo Credit: Old Lady by Kevin Demers, Ecuador; cropped

Wisdom can come at any age. Aging just reminds us of it in the nick of time… You don’t have to wait for it to come upon you. The Life Within is constant but unseen to most like the water that flows under the crust of the earth. Dig deep and you will find it and be refreshed!

Link to article: http://www.ramdass.org/the-life-within/

 

 

What I Offer At The Studio Has A Lot To Do With What I’ve Experienced In My Life…

I grew up with the notion that women were less than. This attitude was perpetuated by both parents and then siblings. I did not believe this but was victim to it time and time again. I became quiet and reserved with my feelings yet expressed my opinions aggressively. I was confused a lot of the time about who I was and what I was doing, who to love and who loved me. It took me a long time to unravel the mess that was my childhood because it was all about me trying to appease those around me, rather than listening to myself… I lost sight of who I was.

My spiritual practice and training – once I realized that it was do or die, allowed me to become whole again. Through this work, I realized my fullness, and I was able to see a way through.

This is (one of the reasons) why I practice and teach yoga, meditation and offer Transpersonal Therapy.

I believe I can assist those who want it, to see a way through as well. I realized both victim and perpetrator are in constant protection mode because of their feelings of emptiness and vulnerability. I can guide the process of unravelling and then the reasserting and rebuilding that comes after.

I grew up in a family that believed that you have to be “crazy” to go to a therapist. But I soon learned that this is a process of growth and discovery (when done well) and not an exercise in labeling and pointing fingers.

I believe EVERYONE should seek out self-knowledge – to practice self-awareness/self-observation through any means – the best of which are: yoga (taught by a teacher that practices this not only the postures), meditation (taught by a teacher that practices to see passed the egoic nature), and therapy (facilitated by a person who believes that the spirit is a huge part of the equation and that it’s not about “fixing” you). All of this can bring you leaps and bounds into another and more full sense of self that calms the storms of self-absorption/self-centredness. (Self-observation/awareness is opposite to self-absorption/centredness).

Why am I telling you this? Because this is what I do. I offer those who seek it – wholeness through the therapy I offer, and the yoga classes and meditation (private or semi-private) I have at the studio. I believe I have experienced all this – the prejudice, the name calling, the putdowns, the self-doubt, etc. – in order to work through them and come out the other side with understanding and equanimity so that I can be a light to those who are still in darkness and who believe and feel that there is more to them than what those around them are saying, and who would like to live more fully and more present in their own lives.

 

Here’s the article that inspired this note:

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-women-arent-crazy/