Movies – Sex vs Violence

This is a response to an article about how sex in movies is the biggest concern for parents and not the violence in movies

Of course it is the biggest concern. How scary is it when two people who are mutually attracted to one another get it on!? Oh dear! As opposed to – of course – when two people who mutually despise one another get to rip each other’s heads off.

It makes sense when you want to see life in black and white, good and bad.

It’s not the violence that people respond to – it’s the aftermath; how good it feels to come out victorious from a seemingly and albeit blind, righteous battle – seeing the bloody heads of your enemy strewn about – it’s a wonder, the heroes of movies don’t look into the camera and say without any irony, “I did that.”

What violence in movies represents (or more the point, our acceptance and love of violence in the movies) is the shadow of our culture. 

Our society and the people in it (that means YOU) – point the finger at other cultures and exclaim that they are the ones who are barbaric or evil and without god! They are the ones who are killing each other. But you forget to look at yourselves. Here in America/Canada, you are just as blood-thirsty as the next guy or culture. Don’t fool yourselves.

Every one of us needs to be the “hero” of our own story. It’s human nature – fine. What isn’t fine is not knowing that you are just as “good” or just as “bad” as anyone else in this world. You are just as imperfect as the rest of us. Without knowing this, you can not look at someone else without making them your enemy – and that goes for those who are close to you or those whom you don’t know.

You make the righteous argument that you decide what is right and what is wrong because of some arbitrary notion that somehow in some other universe, you were “chosen” to do so. You think you are the ones who are the purveyors of justice and you get to hold your righteous indignation over the heads of all others while you sit pretty in your ivory towers looking down, way down on everyone else.

You, my dear fellow human beings, are not better and no worse than the guy/guys who gunned down/blew up/mowed down/blew to smithereens people the other day, last week, two months ago, a year ago, 3 years ago, 5 years ago, etc. etc. etc. because they also thought that what they were doing was righteous and just – whatever was going on in their heads.

Violence, contrary to your belief, no matter the cause, is NOT a virtuous act. As much as, keeping your daughters locked up and keeping sex out of the lives of living breathing human beings is not a virtuous act. God doesn’t want this – the powers that be do. The fight between good and evil is all made up in your head and was planted there by those who wanted to make you afraid. First it was the church, the clergy and those powers, and now it’s your conservative powers – who want to keep you afraid and angry and righteously indignant and armed.

The feelings that rise up in you about sex has been planted (again by the same powers) in you that they are bad – why? Because it serves them to do so. Feelings of sex are natural. They raise up out of attraction, desire, and natural body functions. Feelings of violence raise up out of hatred for the unknown and a fictional enemy that has been made up – depending on who/what the powers that be want to vanquish. Violence is not a natural body function. It comes from the intellectualization of fear.

So those of you who don’t like sex in movies – it’s not about the sex itself – it’s about the fear that it brings up and the feelings associated with that fear. That fear doesn’t feel good so you blame sex for it and therefore make it the culprit for your imagined fear. And you feel violent against it. Anytime you feel you need to protect yourself (through the proxy of your children), there always has to be violence behind it.  And there is the violence again. The thing that you are more comfortable with because somehow it makes you feel more virtuous.

Parents are afraid more often than not and put it on their children – if you don’t believe me, ask the millennials.

And sex in movies brings up that feeling. Fear brings on feelings of protection which ultimately begets feelings of violence. Most people feel this way most of the time. So when violence is in movies, it justifies your own feelings of violence – because ultimately in movies, the violence is virtuous (good against evil) and therefore just. You feel better about your own feelings.

It’s terribly basic and frankly frustrating to a person like me, who can see through all the stories that we are told – what to fear, what not to fear.

I do fear one thing though, that this shadow: the fear that people are not talking about, the hatred that is in their hearts; is not being looked at.

People’s hearts have hardened in the last few decades – because people are afraid. That is what makes me sad. Their hearts are only open to the easiest things to love in this world: puppies, funny cat vids, cute children saying cute things, really nice people, beautiful people – those are the easy things to love. How about trying to not fear and love those who are really difficult to love? It doesn’t mean you have to accept what they do. That goes for those you love – you don’t have to swallow the kolaid. But when we can see that violence is never called for – that love is the only answer, then and only then can we be free.

This is in response to this article:


When the World Turns Fearful…We Lose…

I feel so sorry for all of us. In light of the US mid-terms, I can only surmise as to what is happening in the psyche of the North American privileged western resident, and I feel so sorry for all of us.

The Legacy of the American Dream

I’ll go back to watching funny baby and kid vids on my FB feed and forget that I live in a place that has so many privileged individuals that are so blind and protective of what they think is their legacy that they can’t see the fraud – they can’t see that what they (the elite) have can’t ever be theirs – EVER.

But here we go – hoping and wishing and working so hard that our fingers bleed – as most people in the world do just to get a piece of that pie. Difference is – that we in the western (North American) world believe, however erroneously, that that pie – at least a piece – can be ours. Ha! It is not ours and can never be ours. And please don’t tell me that I don’t try hard enough or have vision enough or believe in the “Secret” enough. The system is not programmed for you or for me – we have to stop fooling ourselves.

And why would you ever want to be a part of it anyway. Horrible greedy individuals who would stab you in the back first chance they got – yeah I guess if you didn’t get to them first. Is that a way to live!? NO.

It’s All A Game

I feel sorry that we have to play this game at every turn – human rights, consumer rights, student rights, women’s rights, children’s rights, elderly rights, right to die, right to live, right to health care. We fight and fight and fail because fear is stronger, more resilient than any petition to save a whale or a prisoner’s life. I can’t watch any more.

It’s All Distraction

So as I sit here watching that sweet lovely little kid who’s parents dressed him up in a costume too big for him for Halloween – as I watch him fall over and with incredible compassion and absolute singularity ensure his parents “I’m OK. I’m OK.” I smile and say, in our own way we are all OK, yes but – the world in all it’s complexity needs us to know that not all is OK.

I wish that it was as simple as a funny vid on FB – and sometimes it’s as simple as that. But when the powers that be around us are reacting and determining the structure of our lives out of fear and not JOY then we must be vigilant.

Fear Not and Open Your Heart

We have to act in spite of our fears not in servitude of them. Open your hearts to the world around you and see that there’s a lot of fight left – we have a lot to achieve – there are a lot of people suffering because of the attitudes of a few.

Living in fear of the unknown diminishes the rights of the many and makes an island of those who live in fear. Fear makes you powerful – because you will do anything to protect and that means violence. Resolve to be bigger than that. Resolve to champion those who are less fortunate. Yes – this does mean that I believe that the results of the mid-terms is a response from the elitist ideals of (North) America. Them against us. Resolve to include and not exclude. Give your life for the ideals of brother/sisterhood, ecology and love. Believe that life is more than your bank account and the protection of which you would sanction the marginalization of anyone on this earth for your own protection (without cause).

Like Warriors

I have watched and listened and wept at the discrepancies between what some in positions of power say and what they do. I have marveled at their tenacity and blatant disregard for the livelihood of those within their own borders let alone outside of them and I see greed and protectionism.

Yes – this is a response to an increasing disposition toward conservatism that strangles the creative impulse of the heart that seeks new ways to combat socio-pathic tendencies to control a nation by a select few (see Iceland). We need voices who crawl out of the burrows of stagnant pastures to give voice to those who would contribute greatness but have no standing. Give voice to those who would stand up against fear-mongering.

I feel sorry for all of us. These are dark times. Yes. I will look it straight in the eye and yell – Let’s do this! Bring it on! …

 I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Quote…Martine Luther King Jr.

I’m talking about ANTM sure but it’s so much more than that!

I know this is an unusual thing to talk about for me…but I came across this article about the America’s Next Top Model (ANTM) contestant, who was and is a meth addict (maybe Dr. Phil did something), and I really couldn’t help responding. As I wrote, it became clear to me what the big picture was: the moral (ethical) and social responsibility of those who are much more fortunate (the 1%) than the rest of us. I realized a long time ago that all these newly rich individuals and corporations creating the big divide in our society, a very few of them, have any ethical social conscience. It used to be that the barons of industry were actively involved in their communities building things and donating to causes which in their day were about societal betterment for all. If the idea that promoting institutions such as: Education or the Arts were important to that betterment, then that is where they put their money. Now, the newly rich put their money constantly into themselves. We live in a very narcissistic and fatalistic age. It seems that everyone just takes care of themselves. They make sure they have much more than what they need, and maybe if they step out to donate to a cause, they do what is “trending”! Which is still all about them.

I wrote what you will find below in response to what people were saying about Tyra and the ANTM franchise. So this is how it went:

In this day and age, when corporations are being asked to take stock and responsibility of what effect their actions have on an individual and the whole of society (financially (banks/investment companies), emotionally (tabloids), health-wise (cig/pharma companies) and are sometimes being jailed for it or sued, the excuse that this is just a (reality) show and after the show, well, you’re on your own; that there is no responsibility of the show to be mindful of those that have borderline personalities, is just a bunch of hogwash.

But Hollywood is full of that, isn’t it.

I’m only interpreting and responding to, the responses people are giving defending Tyra. But she’s the exec producer. She can change the way the show is conducted if she really wanted to. To have a marginally stable personality on a show because it’s good for ratings (that’s why they choose some people), well, the show is just as bad as a Springer show, or whatever the other shows are called!

She’s convinced herself that she’s doing a good thing, that she is contributing somehow (as they all do). We all know, she’s making a shit load of money off you guys through the show. The cult-like following of her or any other celebrity (for that matter) can only add to the blindness that drives Tyra as a producer and those like her. We all contribute (yes, I’ve watched the show…duh), but that still doesn’t mean she and her producers should continue to conduct themselves and the show in such a way that when someone really needs their help they are not there.

Tyra thinks she’s a mentor to all the models, but really she only has herself in mind. Which is not a bad thing entirely if you divulge that in the beginning and let people make decisions on the whole truth of the show. Nothing wrong with having a successful show.

But… caring about the people during and after the show would only make a little dent in the bottom line and would probably catapult them into the realms of philanthropy and good works which is about legacy. Not something anyone with money, lots of it, think about these days. It probably doesn’t occur to her as producer (a business person), to think about what she’s leaving behind. There’s a great opportunity here to do real good in your own community, to really make a difference, to finish what you’ve started, and not only Tyra but a lot of Hollywood…and the rich 1% are missing out. That’s sad…tragic really. Can you imagine if they actually cared about the well-being of those that have gone through, (opened a counseling center, had (real) therapists on staff, were pro-actice in identifying troubled individuals and guided them to seek help, donated to America’s (and all the countries’ you find ANTM) foundations for good mental health, drug abuse, etc..) how great their legacy would be!

If Tyra thinks she’s a mentor, then be a mentor. Mentor’s stay for the long haul. (But are wise to those who just want to suck them dry or wise to when they can’t help any longer). That’s what mentors do. Business people and corporations are the ones who suck you dry for their own gain and then toss you.

Yes – some survive this treatment and that’s because of their own strength and conviction, not because ANTM did you any favors (“agencies don’t know what to do with you because you’re so famous and still a rookie”.)

So remember that ANTM is like any other show in Hollywood and is there strictly for ratings and revenue. And that means your idol Tyra… she is executive producer after all. She (the show) has enough money to change the foundations and mandate of the show and the ‘schooling’ of the contestants. But as exec prodr, she hasn’t yet.

This is a call out to anyone who has the money and the power; will you take up the challenge of real mentoring and philanthropy? To have a social conscience and put some of your energy into caring deeply about your effect on those around you and who come to you for guidance? Do you care enough to follow through with what you’ve started given your resources, and make a difference in your community?

I’d like to hear from you…